As a disciple of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, this is my testimony.
I was saved around the time of my Jr High School days. I can’t remember, exactly, when it all began. I know I was not the most well-behaved teenager. Not that I was constantly getting in trouble, but I was troubled behind closed doors, in my mind and in my spirit.
Throughout my twenties and early thirties, I turned even darker in my heart and the Spirit was weak in me. I felt that money, prestige and material possessions were the most important things – keeping up with the Joneses. (Eph 2:1-3) It was at this time in my life that I met my first wife, Donna, who was a devout Christian woman.
She and her family started to show me what living a Biblical life was like and that the ways of the Spirit were more important than worldly possessions. (Eph 2:4-10) This was especially important in the events that were about to happen.
In four years, both of Donna’s parents died from complications due to cancer. I lost two jobs. In the following year we had sold our house and were living in our travel trailer. She quit two jobs so we could move to Florida (from Columbia, SC) on the promise of a good job for me in Jacksonville after several productive interviews. That opportunity fell through. We depleted much of our savings that year while waiting for a job opportunity to come to us. She worked at Lowe’s as a greeter and I took a job with a landscaping crew. We waited, we stayed still, listening. (Psalm 37:7) Then, about five months later, after much of Donna’s praying, I received a call for a job interview in Tampa, which turned out fruitful. We rented a house nearby the office and I worked as a contract programmer for three months of a six month contract which was cancelled early. Without income, our rent was a bit high.
Then we moved and rented another home, which was less expensive, in Sarasota. I took another six-month contract job which was cancelled after only one month. Donna took an office job as a receptionist and I went through several jobs – hanging window blinds, data entry, and finally landed a six-month contract in St. Petersburg, FL. About one week before 9-11 that contract was cancelled after only five months. I was supposed to be made a permanent employee. At this point, I was devastated.
Why couldn’t I keep a job? What did I have to do? How are we going to get by? Why weren’t Donna’s prayers being answered? Then one day I was out walking, for exercise. Now, I love raptors, especially bald eagles. As I staggered down the street I asked God to please give me some sort of sign that He was there, watching me and asked why I was having such a difficult time in my life. At that very moment, 2 blocks inside an urban neighborhood, a bald eagle flew over my head and cried out. It was the first time I had seen an eagle in the wild. THAT was the moment that focused my perspective toward God. That was in 2001. (see Life’s Uncertainties)
Since then, I have moved 5 times, each time to a smaller house. At that time I understood that “stuff” does NOT matter. (Matt 6:19) Donna died in 2006 from ovarian cancer. I remarried for 2 years and then divorced. My father died in 2010. In 2011, two of my best friends moved away never to be heard from again despite my attempts to contact them. In 2012, my mother went back to PA, shortly after I lost my best friend, my dog, Penny. I felt completely alone.
The business I worked at dissolved and once again unemployment showed its face at my doorstep. I spent my last retirement dollars on rent. I was at the bottom of the pit. Death and circumstance had all but crushed my resolve. I fell to my knees and cried out “Are you there? Please help me!” over and over as tears flooded my eyes. The very next day I stumbled across a job opportunity, scheduled an interview and started work the next Monday. That was the icing on the cake for me. I KNEW God existed.
During my dark period, I noticed, on my bookcase, the men’s devotional Bible which Donna had given me. I picked it up and began reading from Genesis 1:1. I found that I couldn’t stop reading and by the time I got to the Gospels, I found new truth and my Spirit was growing more and more every day. But I was still lonely. In what I thought of as a silly attempt to change my life, I joined a dating website called Christian Mingle. After a few unfruitful months of counting on that (instead of God) (Matt 7:24-29), I logged in to delete my profile and there was a message from a woman. I shrugged and opened the message and replied. This resulted in several months of conversations lasting for hours on end about faith and God’s Word. (Matt 7:7-10)
We have been married for nearly four years (in May). We have been through some difficult times, but our faith has pulled us through all of it. Sometimes mine, sometimes hers, sometimes both of us. I came to realize the truth that “stuff” doesn’t matter. (Matt 6:19-21) I know it sounds trite but “you can’t take it with you”. Helping people and holding your trust in God, keeping Him at the center of your life – that’s what really matters. I had found light and truth. (Matt 5-7)
Almost two years ago I lost my last job due to complications of diabetes. I floundered since then, trying to think of how I can serve God and others. My physical inabilities and the measurable loss of brain power made it almost impossible to commit to every way I considered.
So then, now, here I am. Wow, I started a blog! By writing posts based on my life events and solutions to life’s difficulties taken from scripture, I found a way to serve the Lord and help others. (1 Corin 1:21) I hope you will find answers to your life issues in these humble posts and their scriptural references. If you have a particular life challenge and want to share it or want me to write about it citing scriptural solutions or if you would like me to just research scriptural solutions for you, please use the comments section. All communications remain anonymous.
Bless you and may you find peace on your way to the Threshold.
Thank you for considering my blog.